Personal Belief Dialogue at einar77.com
Core Belief Dialogue
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Started 

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BELOW:

"Core Belief Dialogue - An Introduction" 
 

Core Belief Dialogue is for groups of 3 to 20 people meeting in person with a facilitator.
Facilitator training materials available at no cost.
                   
Send inquiries to   einar77@einar77.com
 

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Core Belief Dialogue  -  An Introduction

PREMISE       

We as individuals will benefit if we can be given the opportunity to simply express our core beliefs,  to be heard but not judged.

HOPED FOR RESULTS        

The very process of formulating our core beliefs, so that we can express them to others, will help us better understand ourselves.  Suspending judgment, suspending assumptions, and listening to others express their core beliefs will give us new ways of understanding our ourselves.  Through increased mutual understanding, from core belief dialogue, we will live and work better as a community.

MECHANICS

1.      Group gathers at set time and place.

2.      Facilitator initiates.

3.      Each person “checks in” … tell the group how you are

         doing today and what you hope to bring to the dialogue.

4.      Only one person speaks at a time.

5.      Only the person with the “talking stick” speaks.

6.      The “talking stick” passes from person to person

         by some method agreed by the group.

7.      There are no challenges to what another person says

         or attacks on their opinions or their identity.

8.      There is no debate.

9.      Moments of silence are accepted as useful.

10.    Participants reveal and suspend their assumptions.

11.    Participants suspend their judgments.

12.    Participants listen intently and proactively.

13.    The facilitator will indicate when it is time to “check out”.

         (Or individuals may “check out” early.)

14.    Everyone “checks out”,  tells what they learned or experienced,

         how they feel at the conclusion.

15.    The dialogue is ended after everyone has “checked out”.

16.    Discussion and reflection following the dialogue will set the stage

         for the next dialogue.

17.    As the dialogue progress,  we will come to better understand our own core beliefs.

 

 

Prelude to Dialogue

STARTING

The start of a dialogue can often be uncomfortable for groups new to the practice. What will the group talk about?  Who will begin?

 

SLOW DOWN

Reflection is directly related to the pace of conversation.  In dialogue, there are often pauses, some quite long, between speakers.  Words are spoken more deliberately. To an observer, everything might seem slowed down.

 

FOSTERING COLLECTIVE INTELLIGENCE

Inquiry and reflection combined help us dig deeper into whatever important issues concern us.  Collective listening leads to revelations and new questions.

 

THE OLD WAY

As we were growing up most of us were taught listening as a defensive skill.  Listening was about getting clear on what was expected of us.  When we were unsuccessful it meant trouble.  We listened to discover what would help us fit in, keep our job, how to deliver what someone else wants, to figure out who has power, anticipate possible danger.

 

DISRUPTION OF LISTENING

Internal conversation (in our own heads) often makes it difficult to focus on what the other person is saying.  We are often filled with judgements and doubts, preparing for what to say next, thinking up rebuttals, or wondering how much longer this is going to take.      Real communication can only take place where there is silence.”

 

CANCER

A group of cells become a body unto themselves without regard for how their unlimited growth affects the health of the whole.  The result is often death.

 

CANCER

When a part of the body loses the ability to listen for its relationship with the whole.  Without “listening” our bodies would die. Without listening dialogue cannot exist

 

ASSUMPTIONS             

Assumptions are those things we think we know.

WHAT WE THINK WE KNOW       

When we think we have a handle on our goals and methods, yet continue to suffer unexpected consequences it may be time to suspend judgement and open up our listening.  We may be experiencing the result of our limited vision and disconnection between our thinking and our actions.  We should be suspicious of what we think we know.

 

ASSUMPTIONS AND CONFLICT

It is not so much the different assumptions that create problems as it is the need to be right that does.  The stability of our individual world views depends on our assumptions being held as facts.  Thus,  we will tend to judge as wrong any data or ideas that deviate from ours.

 

SUSPENDING JUDGEMENT

Just as no two people are physically identical, no two people hold the same assumptions about how things work.  The ability to suspend judgements and take up a neutral point of view, where we do not need to be right, ...  allows us to begin to see our assumptions, and those of others, more clearly.

 

WHY SUSPEND ASSUMPTIONS AND JUDGEMENT?    
because:  assumptions are the rationale behind the snap evaluations we make when we judge.    “He is a good person because (assumption).” or “That is a great idea because (assumption).”

 

TWO KINDS OF JUDGEMENTS:

When considering suspending judgements it is helpful to consider two types of judgements often experienced:  1.)The yes/no,  good/bad,  right/wrong  variety.  2.)  More complex judgements or assumptions about what is being said. The first type,  1.) ,   are deadly to dialogue.  They shut people right up, especially if the person who makes them is in any kind of authority position in the group.

 

DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR:

When suspension of assumptions and judgement is not present in a dialogue group, it is not uncommon for someone to make a disparaging remark or roll their eyes towards the ceiling    suddenly everyone knows that it’s not safe to speak freely.  People generally respond by shutting down.  Diverse perspectives are stifled. Group-think occurs, where one opinion is just accepted.   Defensiveness can arise.

 

JUDGEMENT LISTENS ONLY TO ITSELF

Whether you agree or disagree,  your judgements will limit your ability to listen.  Even agreement with another can limit how you listen.  By far the most damaging to your listening will be your negative judgements.

 

ABILITY TO OBSERVE:

Suspension of judgement is about developing the ability to observe judgements,  your own and those of others, from a neutral position, remaining detached and unreactive. Why is this essential to dialogue???  No one likes to feel judged.  Judgements shut down conversations and send creative thinking into hiding.  They undermine the openness required to sustain collaborative thinking

 

WHERE TO START

We start with suspension of judgement because the ability to work with judgements provides the foundation.  Without suspension of judgement,  dialogue is not possible.  Suspension of judgement is not about stopping judgements from occurring.  It is about developing the ability to observe judgements from the neutral position.

 

IMPOSSIBLE TASK?           

We are judgement manufacturers.  Judgements are the products of a process essential to the way our minds work,  that is the  forming of an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing.  Good-bad,  stupid-brilliant,  yes-no,  beautiful-ugly,  safe-dangerous.  We turn them out in a variety of sizes, shapes and intensities 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Suspension is about suspending,  not eliminating.



Ready  ...  Set  ...  Suspend      and BEGIN!                

Who has the talking stick ?                   

Please check in.

 

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

Excerpts from “Dialogue”  Written by Linda Ellinor and Glenna Gerard

 

RECOMMENDED READING:

 

“Dialogue:  Rediscover the Transforming Power of Conversation”
by Linda Ellinor and Glenna Gerard,  
[practical and personally useful].

”Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together”
by William Isaacs  
[an education in the theory and practice of dialogue]

”On Dialogue”
by David Bohm
[the theoretical origins on dialogue as a discipline]

“The Magic of Dialogue

by Daniel Yankelovich
[applications of dialogue techniques in the seach for world peace].

 

CORE BELIEF DIALOGUE HELP DESK:

[send your questions to    einar77@einar77.com ]

 

 

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